How to Know When Someone is Mooching Off of You in a Relationship / Friendship


Bravo | Press Contribution, 2018

How do you know if someone is mooching off you in a relationship?

How do you know if someone is mooching off you in a relationship? I would say the best indicator of an unequal friendship is your gut feeling that something isn’t quite right. Most of us have had the experience of giving more than we’re getting from our friends and it can take a long time to acknowledge it, especially if it’s a good or old friend. Friendships are like any other partnership, there is an unstated expectation of equality in time, commitment, and loyalty. If you find yourself constantly questioning whether this friend of yours is “a real friend” because they are always taking, chances are it’s time to make a difficult decision.

How do you address and identify it?

How do you address and identify it? The second most difficult thing is the confrontation. Depending on the level of closeness in that particular friendship, having an open discussion can be one way to address it. Some people fall into patterns of inequality and don’t even realize they are doing it. Once it’s out in the open, both people can adjust their expectations and be more aware of the impact of their actions. In other relationships where dialogue might lead to conflict, the best way to address it is to just alter your own behavior and wait for your friend to get the message. In other words, stop making yourself so available or generous and they will eventually stop being able to mooch.